I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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