ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
