You really coming over, don't trick.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
