I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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