Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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