Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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