Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
