Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
