I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
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So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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