Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
