His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we should paint friendship bongs
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize