a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
