Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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