Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
