Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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