so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
