i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
