Define "chronic" masturbator.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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