my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
