We're facebook friends in real life
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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