did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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