Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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