I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
