im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
