goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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