I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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