a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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