who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
