To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
