Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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