I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The feeling are messing with the penis
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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