i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
