I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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