A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
