talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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