Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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