goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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