Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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