hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
