Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize