the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
