I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"