So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.