how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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