what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
