U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
