My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
