hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My room smells like vodka and shame
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize