I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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