I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
