started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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