I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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