all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
