dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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