I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
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he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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