Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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