oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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