i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
